I wouldn't of had the one night stand I did. If it was someone that I acrually cared about and wanted to be with then that would be different. But in this actual situation, No way in hell would I have had sex with him.

HSV (and HPV) are in a somewhat different category as far as safer sex goes.

Condoms are only somewhat effective in preventing possible transmission, because they aren't transmitted through body fluids like HIV or most other STIs. They can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, especially when there's friction involved. And, when an HSV-positive person is having viral shedding (with or without lesions --- they do NOT have to be having an outbreak to be shedding), the entire area of their HSV site is shedding. Viral shedding occurs between 6-10% of the time, and is less the longer the person is positive.

So, say they have genital HSV (HSV-2 or HSV-1), then not just the genitals shed virus during a shedding period. The entire area can shed, including thighs, lower belly, buttocks, etc. You COULD use saran wrap or something similar to protect the entire area on the off-chance the person you are with has HSV and is shedding. But most people aren't willing to go through all that.

The thing is with HSV and HPV both is that:

1) They're really, really ubiquitous.
About 80% of the adult population of the US is HSV-1 positive. HSV-1 *usually* manifests as oral herpes, ie cold sores, but CAN also manifest in the genitals. It can be transmitted from someone who has it orally to another person's genitals. And vice versa. Same goes for HSV-2, btw. It can manifest in either location (among others), and be transmitted either way.
About 25% of the adult population of the US is HSV-2 positive.
MOST people who have genital HSV are asymptomatic -- they never have outbreaks -- or their outbreaks are so mild and infrequent that they're mistaken for something else or not noticed at all.
Something around 90% + of the population has some form of HPV, btw. If you've ever had a wart, anywhere, you have at least one of the many, many, many strains of it.

2) HSV is not life-threatening to an adult. Most symptomatic people have only a few outbreaks per year and they are apparently more annoyances than anything else. HSV has this hideous social stigma, but it's the least dangerous BY FAR of the common STIs. wtf?

3) Most 'full screening' STI tests you get at your Drs office or clinic do NOT include screening for HSV. You have to ask for it specifically, and it's not always easy to find a place that does it at all. The goverment actually reccommends AGAINST regular testing for it because it's not life-threatening or even much of a health problem, but the STRESS of testing for it or knowing you have it is more dangerous to your health.

Chances are, if you've 'played the field' much at all in your adult life, you've had sex with someone who has some form of genital herpes.

That's all probably more than you wanted to know, but there it is.... *laugh*

Here Here Spartca.... I'm all for jusk asking!!!

I personally think it's your own responsibltility to A. Ask anyone you are gonna sleep with... and then B... decide for yourself what safer-sex steps you want to take (cause they could be lying).

When it comes down to it - you are the only person you can really trust and you are the only person is truly responsible for YOUR body.

I'm not trying to enable folks into not-disclosing... I just don't think it's their "responsibility". It may be more a more ethical moral decision to disclose, but that's about it in my personal opinion.

We've heard this rant before... but it seems mainstream heterosexual culture kinda expects folks to tell them if they have STD's and to make chooses that will protect them (so they don't have to???? not sure). The gay culture in general has a much healthier opinion in my mind that you assume everyone is pos - regardless of disclosing status and decide for yourself what risk you want to take and act appropriately.